FFS Damian, the game was up and we all knew it was you who'd been looking at porn when you should probably have been focusing on more serious matters. While it may indicate a bit of a 'self-control issue' that the bloke couldn't even wait until clocking off time before cracking open the scantily clad, most of us are mature adults and would hope that the sheer embarrassment of the whole thing would snap Mr Green into some sort of behavioural modification. Sometimes that is how all of us (myself included) have corrected our own mistakes. Going down the Ted Baker "Satan hacked me" route was just a crazy 'defence' doomed to end in worse than failure.
But here's the thing with the Damian Green 'scandal' that everyone seems to be tittering like schoolgirls about. I keep hearing the words 'legal pornography' coming up in relation to this story, that Green had what some rozzer deemed to be too much 'legal pornography' on his computer. Well, firstly the pornography was depicting consenting adults doing things that consenting adults do, so there is no question of the law being broken. Had there been anything depicting the abuse of, say, animals or kids then that becomes a completely different and, well, altogether more criminal matter. But absolutely nobody is suggesting that is the case.
Secondly, the question of how much pornography constitutes 'too much' on a hard drive is by definition a subjective one and quite possibly a trick one. Moreover, it is not something for 'the police' to be involving themselves in, let alone making value judgements about, especially as the (unfounded) allegations against Green that prompted the raid on his house were nothing to do with porn of any kind. What next, raids on people's houses where they find 'excessive' amounts of legal alcohol or legal cigarettes, then report it to the media as if it was some sort of stunning Escobar-style yield?
This strange case poses way more questions than answers, namely:- given the security alerts around MPs is their browsing not monitored and has nobody had a word with Damian Green about this in the past? Why did he subsequently become de facto Deputy Prime Minister given his bosses almost certainly knew about this problem? If he's amended his behaviour accordingly and no longer spends half his working day looking at porn then does the campaign against him not seem wholly unnecessary? The data involved in this is very, very old and it's quite possible his habits have changed, perhaps after a friendly but firm word in his ear from the boss.
Look, I'm not a fan of Damian Green or his politics and think he's a mediocre, somewhat over-promoted minister who happened to be in the right place at the right time under the right leader. By all means criticise him on that basis and for being stupid enough to tell the lies he told, but the hysteria over a bit of 'legal pornography' on a computer is just silly, especially as most of those engaging in it have probably checked out a fair bit of 'adult material' themselves in their own lifetimes. I know I have and might tell you that 'Millenium Eve' story on some other occasion. What I do know is that very, very few of us have the right to judge someone else on that basis alone.
I'm off to listen to my mate's significantly above average radio programme then maybe indulge in some 'legal pornography' afterwards - please promise me you won't call the filth and have them raid my house.
Take care and I'll try and squeeze another in tomorrow morning. Failing that. have a great Christmas, take in some highly appropriate music and I'll catch you soon.